Since the beginning of time, people have been on quest for the answer to the question of love. We look to scientists for facts, figures and explanations of why and how things work. Doctors can help to heal physical and mental illness. Dentists can fix the outward appearance of our smile. However, in matters of the heart, we often find ourselves broken and bruised without recollection of how we got to this point and without understanding of how to move forward. Turning to friends and family seems like a natural instinct, and more often than not they offer the same advice in the form of a quote.
Richard Bach once said “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.” I am fairly certain that he had no idea how many times those exact words would be repeated by grandparents, parents, and best friends to the broken-hearted to help heal those invisible love “boo-boos”. More times than I can count, I have heard this quote.
I don’t think in any relationship it is an easy thing to let someone go. I think that we are so fearful of “letting go” because the harsh reality of it is that he or she may not actually come back. No matter how many times I repeat Mr. Bach’s quote, I still can’t help being afraid that in letting go, they might actually do just that. Go. And just how long am I supposed to wait to see if they come back? A week? A month? A year? I don’t know that I can accept that.
I can, however, accept the idea of this quote. Which I think, is simply that sometimes we do need to walk away to see the bigger picture. Maybe sometimes we all need a little break, whether we are letting go or being let go. I think that a lot of times we all have a hard time putting trust in faith and not knowing. Bach was telling us to relax a little. Take a breath and get to know ourselves. In the meantime, the people that are supposed to be in our lives will be and those that aren’t will continue on with their own journey. It’s a hard pill to swallow and not always the ending that we hoped and planned for. But it’s life. We just have to hope that “all is fair in love and war” and absence really does make the heart grow fonder.