Monday, December 6, 2010

A Few Things I *May* Have Forgotten To Mention....

He loves me.
Or maybe he doesn’t.

I don’t know what to believe anymore. I know I love him.  I know I have for a very long time.  I think he loves me - Most of the time. (I would hope that it’s more than my fantastic b-job skillz.)

He’s married. 
I’m not. 
He has 2 children.
 I do not.

        And if you have a problem with it, don’t be my friend. I don’t need you.  I have enough people in my life who treat me like shit.  I certainly don’t need any more.    

 I’m sure it would help if he didn’t continue to mind fuck me every day.  If I’m constantly getting fucked I should at least be able to enjoy it.  Let me wear my good high heels and bend over for Christ’s sake.  Instead we constantly pussy foot around the notion of banging on my desk or in the back of his cop car (shit I forgot to mention he’s a cop too---go ahead think the dirty thoughts cause I guarantee we have done it), sending stupid fucking texts like ”?”, as if to say, “Hey, since I can’t send a normal god-damned text to you incase someone sees it, wanna meet for a sub and a blow job?”.   I know what you’re thinking. What’s so bad about an assorted sammie and some ass.  Nothing usually. However, it’s been almost ten years.  And the truth of the matter is it’s getting really fucking old and so am I.  My little ovaries are drying up over here while his “Fertile Myrtle” bitch wife gets it all.
 (I should mention that she pulled the age-old “I’m preggers” trick when she knew it was not gonna last.  She, of course was not, but proceeded to get pregnant while he thought she already was.  She is also awesome enough to drink at a work party in front of 50 of our closest friends while 6 months preggers.  I can’t imagine why the baby was born shitting out of its mouth. Gag. And the best part is she definitely thinks she is soooo much better than everyone around her.  Perhaps it’s because she is shitfaced constantly and can’t decipher the looks of sheer disgust and that of friendship.) 

It’s re-fuckin-dick-you-luss! He’s getting a huge promotion today.  Because ya know, why not give the fuck everything he wants in life.  He certainly deserves it. (insert sarcasm and eye roll here).  Some people just have all the luck.  Awesome. 


  1. 10 years? Girl, you've got determination...

    Just as long as you're allowing yourself to see other possibilities too...not all men come pre-packaged with a billion problems.

  2. We'll discuss that when I get to "feeble attempts of getting over dickhead-parts 1-23" lol! (Ps. You are my first comment! I am super excited!)

  3. I've been noticing a lot of weird things women do in relationships from time to time and how they let themselves be dragged into bad situations.

    Your blog is very very interesting! Waiting to read more. :)

  4. If I were workshopping this within a group of writers, my only suggestion would be to remove the parenthetical "insert sarcasm and eye roll here" cause believe me girl the irony is coming through loud and clear.

    As for your situation. Fuck the police. Fuck fuck the Police.

    I'll be checking for more posts.

  5. I would like to send a long comment here but I am really curious about the next post!

    P.S. - 10 YEARS!!!!!!?!?! I worship you already. I got sick in 5 years that seems like a joke now.