Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Fool Facts

  • I’m 30.  (Well not yet. But very close.)  And everything I had planned for my life has not happened.  THANK. GOD.
  • The most random shit happens to me. Some people call me “Murphy” because of that. (Murphy’s Law- "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong".)
  • Other people call me the “Statue of Liberty”- “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses,”- I take in EVERYONE.  
  • I live in a semi-small town that thinks it’s bigger and more important than it really is. Kinda like the people who run it.
  • I have so many stories to tell and they are the TRUTH.  Some are hilarious mishaps & some tragedies.
  •  I am a blog virgin. (At least I’m still a virgin of something. Well I was until now.)
  •  You should read the posts from the beginning. Because after all this is only the beginning of the journey.  I can assure you, it’s pretty fuckin entertaining.
  • My views about marriage have changed DRAMATICALLY in the past year.  I used to want it. Day dream about it.  Love the idea of it. Plan it in my head.   It dawned on me last year at this time that everyone I know cheats.  From the “pillars of this community” to the drunk that sits in the corner barstool every week when I bartend.  How can you ever trust anyone? I think that men and women should just live next door to each other and have conjugal visits.
  • Before I was cheated on, I thought cheating was worse than murder. (Not really, but you get the point.) Now I am on the other side of the sick twisted equation and I have very different views.  I ultimately believe everyone has the right to be happy. Period.
  • Animal lover. Most likely due to my exquisite relationship skills with humans.  Animals love you. No matter what. Even if they piss on you.
  • I HATE being lied to even though a lot of times I hate the truth. I have serious issues with trust.
  • I have a love/hate relationship with dairy.
  • I don’t give a shit about “perfect grammar”.  I write what I feel and think at that time. 
  • I am an ATROCIOUS speller.  (Definitely just Googled that.)
  • I come from a long line of over-reactors.
  • Large amounts of my day are spent concentrating on NOT swearing at people.
  • Subtly is my weakness, and my constant honesty usually gets me in trouble.
  • I read my horoscope every day. And when it’s good, I believe it.
  • Totally OCD.  I do everything in 3’s.  When I smoke, I always take 3 drags before I throw it out.  The small amount of money that is in my wallet at any given time is always all facing the same way and organized by bills & value.
  • I want to lose 30lbs before I turn 30.  Starting. Now.

Fuck that just made me hungry. FAIL.


  1. Hi there!
    Thanks for stopping by - and for enjoying my randomness. I think we've crossed eachothers paths for a reason. I'll be reading more but needed to drop you a line and give you my first reaction to the first post I've read of yours... I love to laugh and you, my dear - had me laughing out loud.


  2. Such a fun post!

    I relate more to animals than humans, because they're easier to deal with. My husband once told me in a fight that I'm like Hitler. Apparently Hitler had a wonderful relationship with animals. People, not so much.

  3. I don't think everyone cheats, but a lot of people do.

  4. "I think that men and women should just live next door to each other and have conjugal visits."

    a physics teacher that my whole class thought was crazy once told us:

    "I wish men and women were like animals sometime. We spend 2 months out of every year fucking like crazy then the rest we go about our lives peacefully!"

    i wish i could see him again and shake his hand...

  5. Hahaha THAT is great! We must locate him! :)

  6. I loved this post! "I think that men and women should just live next door to each other and have conjugal visits" was my favorite part.

    I'm new to your blog, but I look forward to reading more!

  7. I can relate to most of the stuff you've written up there. And well, what you refer to as "the past" kinda seems like my present...