Fool Facts

• I’m 30.  (Well not yet. But very close.)  And everything I had planned for my life has not happened.  THANK. GOD.

• The most random shit happens to me. Some people call me “Murphy” because of that. (Murphy’s Law- "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong".)

• Other people call me the “Statue of Liberty”- “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses,”- I take in EVERYONE.  

• I live in a semi-small town that thinks it’s bigger and more important than it really is. Kinda like the people who run it.

• I have so many stories to tell and they are the TRUTH.  Some are hilarious mishaps & some tragedies.

•  I am a blog virgin. (At least I’m still a virgin of something. Well I was until now.)

•  You should read the posts from the beginning. Because after all this is only the beginning of the journey.  I can assure you, it’s pretty fuckin entertaining.

• My views about marriage have changed DRAMATICALLY in the past year.  I used to want it. Day dream about it.  Love the idea of it. Plan it in my head.   It dawned on me last year at this time that everyone I know cheats.  From the “pillars of this community” to the drunk that sits in the corner barstool every week when I bartend.  How can you ever trust anyone? I think that men and women should just live next door to each other and have conjugal visits.

• Before I was cheated on, I thought cheating was worse than murder. (Not really, but you get the point.) Now I am on the other side of the sick twisted equation and I have very different views.  I ultimately believe everyone has the right to be happy. Period.

• Animal lover. Most likely due to my exquisite relationship skills with humans.  Animals love you. No matter what. Even if they piss on you.

• I HATE being lied to even though a lot of times I hate the truth. I have serious issues with trust.

• I have a love/hate relationship with dairy.

• I don’t give a shit about “perfect grammar”.  I write what I feel and think at that time. 

• I am an ATROCIOUS speller.  (Definitely just Googled that.)

• I come from a long line of over-reactors.

• Large amounts of my day are spent concentrating on NOT swearing at people.

• Subtly is my weakness, and my constant honesty usually gets me in trouble.

• I read my horoscope every day. And when it’s good, I believe it.

• Totally OCD.  I do everything in 3’s.  When I smoke, I always take 3 drags before I throw it out.  The small amount of money that is in my wallet at any given time is always all facing the same way and organized by bills & value.

• I want to lose 30lbs before I turn 30.  Starting. Now.

Fuck that just made me hungry. FAIL.