Day Three- Something you have to forgive yourself for

Seriously? 

“Very often we are our own worst enemy as we foolishly build stumbling blocks on the path that leads to success and happiness.”

Louis Binstock Dear Fool,  I have been meaning to have this conversation with you for a long time now.   Things need to change between us. Like NOW.  Most days I can't stand you.  I can barely stomach the sight of you, even though, the truth is you aren't "so bad".  If you could just tone up a bit and lose a little weight, you'd be back to the way I remember you.  The way you looked when I liked you.   I hate the way you keep everything inside and then when you eventually breakdown, it takes me weeks to pick up the pieces you left behind.  I am sick and tired of cleaning up your messes.  You need to learn to control your emotions.  Truthfully, maybe it's time you go talk to someone.  Who knows? It might help.  I am even more disgusted with your  "nap times".  It is ridiculous that you are almost 30 and you still insist on taking a nap.  You have so much to do around the house, not to mention that time could be used for exercising. I think sometimes you sleep to dream and to forget.  You mind works like a crazy hamster on a wheel, and I know you have a hard time actually relaxing. But for fucks sake take yoga or something. It's not gonna kill you to get your ass out of bed and do something.  While you're at it, could you go tanning- you are fucking see-through.  The "Edward Cullen" look is so last year.  Don't even get me started on the way you dress! When you dress up for work you look so nice.  Other days, even some work days(which the Mayor hasn't mentioned yet but I'm sure he will), you throw on jeans and that stupid black hoodie. Why on earth do you have so many hoodies?  News flash-not everything you wear has to be black either.  The lack of sleep that is clearly exhibited on your face is morbid enough.  We have know each other for long.  We have been through it all.  I have watched you self destruct. I have watched you pick yourself back up and move on.  I have seen you grotesquely skinny and at your largest.  The sound of your laughter makes me giggle.  And when you cry it rips my heart out.  There is no one in this entire world I know so well as you, at lately I feel like we are strangers.   Please think about what I have said.   Lastly, I want you to know- I NEED YOU TO KNOW-  I forgive you.  For all of it.  For the affair. For the times you neglected me.  For the too much vodka washed down with a bottle of wine. I even forgive you for smoking, for naps, for hoodies & baggy clothes, for self destruction, and self loathing.  I. Forgive. You.  So can we move on now please? Can you get your shit together? Get to know each other again? and MAYBE, just maybe, we'll find out we really do love each other & can find that happiness you have always dreamed of.  Let's do that, mmmmkay?! Thank. Loveyou. Meanit.  Love always,  Yourself