Let's forget about all the moral and ethical issues surrounding an affair. Bottom line- He promised to be faithful and love someone else forever. Someone that is NOT you. And the fact that he is breaking that vow, even though it's with you, will never stop haunting you. Somewhere in the back of your mind you will always remember the fact that he promised
I can't believe that I have allowed this to go on for this long. I cannot believe how deep I'm in. I hate these days. These are the days I could live without, if I was living at all.
Today I spoke to God. This is what I said:
I know that I am a super sucky person for even having this conversation with you. I am well aware of the consequences of my actions, as I was brought up strictly Irish Catholic. I have pretty much come to the conclusion that I will be going straight to hell. Sadly enough, that seems like minimal torture as long as he's there. However, if you could just take a moment to listen to me. I know that you don't make mistakes. So if I could, I'd like to ask you a few questions. Along the lines of you being pure perfection, why would you let me meet him if I wasn't supposed to be with him? And if it was some sort of test, when does it end? and How do I pass? I know that you give me challenges to overcome and make me stronger. I think I have done pretty well at most of the other ones. I am a good person-aside from this little "glitch". I try so hard to be good. I really do. I am truly at a crossroad here. And I need some sort of help. I don't know who else to turn to, seeing as all of my friends are completely exhausted on this topic. I am typically not this wimpy and rarely admit defeat and sadness when it comes to anything. I am very talented at making a joke out of even the worst scenario. However, today, it hurts when I breathe and when I close my eyes I see him. I'm not asking for a lightning bolt or an ark or even a flood. I don't need the end of the world or anything that dramatic. Just a little assistance would be super.
-REALLY FOOLISH Fool
~I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well~